We lead very busy lives. We suffer losses – such as the loss of a marriage or a job and then pick ourselves up quickly – and go on with life. When we lose someone in death, we allow ourselves the usual one to two years to mourn them. If our grief persists, we put on a brave face so that our grieving does not make our friends and family uncomfortable. We understand their discomfort and find our own ways to remember loved ones.
I have a remembrance garden for my husbands and I wear a mourning ring of black diamonds. I go to the cemetery to stand at the graves of Richard, his mom and dad, and Stephen. I take time to think of my dad and my grandparents who have been gone for many years.
I have thousands of photos of family and friends that have been taken over many years at many events. I take my photo albums out and look at the photos from time to time. Thinking about those who are gone and the good times we had makes me happy. And I also cry sometimes when I remember those good times.
Several years ago, I remember my grandmother telling me that my grandfather took out a box of family photos from the closet every Sunday and looked at each photo. I had never known my grandfather to be the sentimental type although on rare occasions he seemed to have a tear in his eye. He usually tried to hide it. He passed away a few years ago and I was given his box of photos. I don’t keep his weekly routine but the thought of it brings a smile to my face.
The ways in which we remember people is only limited by the imagination. I believe that loved ones never truly die if we remember them.