O Christmas tree

Since Richard died almost nine years ago, it has been difficult for me to celebrate Christmas.  The first year after his death, I put up and decorated our artificial 9-foot tree and felt that Richard was with me as I decorated it. Richard loved the Christmas season and would have been Santa Claus if the position had been offered to him.

Two years later, I gave the Christmas tree (as well as other household items) away to the daughter of a friend.  The friend’s daughter had just lost everything in an apartment fire and was happy to receive donations from family and friends.

Stephen seemed anti-Christmas when I met him but began to warm up to the idea of celebrating Christmas again.  The first year I lived with Stephen, I decorated just a bit and invited his daughter and neighbors to spend time with us during the holidays.  Stephen told me that he might be ready the next year to put up a Christmas tree and possibly a few lights outside the house.  He passed away just three months before the holidays and I would have enjoyed seeing him decorate the house.

I’m trying to get into the Christmas spirit.  I am sending out Christmas cards and packages to my friends and relatives and I thought about buying a small tree for my house to lift my spirits.

I have been looking at small and large trees at various stores over the last two weeks.  I went out today to look for trees at Target and Home Depot.  Nothing seems to appeal to me.  I think I’m just not ready yet to celebrate the holidays.

This entry was posted in Grief, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to O Christmas tree

  1. There will be a time when it feels right. The fact you looked is a big step. God bless.

  2. I am sending you a big heartfelt hug. My Dad passed last year and he adored Christmas trees. It’s hard to decorate one without thinking of how if you’d let him, he would have kept it up all year long. I understand. ♥

  3. One thing I always thought was nice was that after my Dad passed away, my Mom went out and bought a very small tree (maybe 3-4 feet). She had a small table that she put the tree on and then would decorate it with the ornaments that had the most sentimental value to her. It was a reminder of her and my Dad’s time together.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s