Redefining self

Just a day (or a month or two) late in writing a daily prompt. That’s not surprising to me – or anyone who knows me.

I’m currently going through a stage of reflection on my life.  Not on regular cycles as for those who have a five-year plan or annually review their goals and accomplishments.

I don’t review and revise my resume and LinkedIn profile as much as I should. I recently revised my Facebook profile as I realized that people really didn’t need to know that much about me.  My personal tastes (likes) have changed over the years as well.

A recent visit to my blog by (and interaction with)  an internet troll prompted me to revise my About page on WordPress.  My circumstances had changed over the past few months although my page should not have invited such an attack by a stranger.

At this time in my life, I don’t make long term goals as I have in the past – such as completing a college degree, finding a job, writing a book, or finishing major personal and household projects. I have found that life changes in an instant – and sometimes in tragic ways. But also in unexpected and wonderful ways as new opportunities become available to me.

I’ve had relatives and long-time friends upset with me as I have changed over the years with my circumstances.  The people we know are much more comfortable if we remain the same, i.e. predictable.  Life is not predictable. I have found that I like myself better as I have grown and changed over time.  I won’t have the same interests or hobbies and my circle of friends will change as well but I am the one who is living this life, not the person who wants me to be the same predictable Natasha.

I am sometimes ambivalent about whether or not I am making the best decisions for my life. I am learning to be more comfortable with making decisions that are initially frightening but may lead to experiences that are needed to make this life worth living.

Now it’s  time to focus on that resume and LinkedIn profile. Perhaps tomorrow…

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