I can’t do this by myself

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/daily-prompt-self/

Recently, when I was mowing the lawn and tending my garden, a young neighbor came over to introduce himself to me. He asked if I needed help with my yard work. I thanked him and told him that I’m capable of doing most of the work in my yard and house but I would certainly call him if I needed help lifting or carrying heavy things. I am extremely self-sufficient but I can’t lift heavy items on my own.

In my younger days, I thought I didn’t need anyone and I could get whatever I wanted by working for it. As I got older, I realized that sometimes we have to ask for help and we that we also have to reassess our wants vs. income.

In my family, we didn’t express need or tears. Weakness only brought punishment or reproach. So I built a wall around myself for protection. This wall has been crumbling for years as life has brought the unexpected to test my character. I have the ability to affect a game face when necessary but sometimes (and more often) I allow myself to show real emotion. It is very liberating to tell someone how I really feel but I know I need much practice with the expression of my needs.

My accountant, broker, and car mechanic each provide a valuable service but I am paying for their expertise. It is easy for me to ask for help when I am paying for that help. I’ve discovered too that it is almost impossible to land a job unless I know someone within a company or have a connection to the company. I have to get over my uneasiness with asking for an introduction in order to get an interview.

I hope that I will never need to ask anyone for money. I would prefer not to ask anyone for anything but have become more comfortable asking for advice and help from friends and acquaintances. And sometimes we really need help with the “heavy” stuff.

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2 Responses to I can’t do this by myself

weggieboy says:

September 7, 2013 at 10:48 am

It took a near-fatal illness for me to acknowledge I needed help sometimes, and that that was OK. I’m less likely to resist help now because I better recognize when I’ve reached a limit where pushing harder might result in a fall or injuries.

By the same token, I am more sensitive to other people in need, but more respectful of not pressing the offer to help if I sense they haven’t made peace with their changed or compromised abilities.

It is a thin line to tread, and I know I step over it sometimes in my own situation, not to mention those of others. It’s not the end of the earth! It’s just a change of understanding and attitude.

- Natasha says:
  
  September 7, 2013 at 6:28 pm
  
  I understand. I have to learn to accept help when it’s offered even though I’d rather not depend on anyone for anything.

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